Friday, October 29, 2010
It's Friday morning, 7:12. Final hours of Vision 2010. I feel such peace, almost as if I'm robbed of the energy of faithless anticipation. I guess it's because I drove over to our old building this morning and just sat in the car, listening to the radio. It was Sidewalk Prophets, and other than my breathing and the sound of my engine running, it was dead quiet. Where there had once been much activity, ministry, and unity, there was silence. New tenants had moved in, but they were nowhere to be found at 6:00 AM. This could have been very depressing, if I hadn't realized that less than 2 miles down the road, life was going on. Much fuller. More movement. Growth that was contagious. Way beyond our wildest imagination. God is good. When He moves, you move. When He directs, you follow. When He loves, you receive.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
I have recently made some huge mistakes in my life and was feeling self hatred, fear and a general feeling of unworthiness to God because of my mistakes. One day last week when I was emotionally crumbling and thinking of either drinking or suicide my radio was tuned to WBGL. You were telling the story about Steven Curtis Chapman's daughters death and how it was an accident caused by his son. You said as Steven held his lifeless daughter in his arms, he pointed to his son saying "I love you, I love you I love you" over and over again. No matter how the son hurt the daughter, the father still loved him. That was like my Heavenly Father telling me...no matter what you have done I love you, I love you, I love you. I needed to hear that over and over again to break through all the pain and unworthiness I was feeling. That hit me so hard and was so real to me, that I got through the day. We are our own worst enemy, I know this for sure. If it wasn't for that message that day, I don't know where I would be. I am so grateful for WBGL and the people who work for your station. Thank you for getting me through the day and teaching me about God's unconditional love and grace.